![]() Rapport (building on the ice breaker and continuing the discussion)Įxit (ending the conversation - hopefully gracefully) Well, there are 3 parts to every small talk conversation: Well, that’s good news! People seem to be more open to having an actual conversation even with strangers. The researchers found that this was the same across the board men and women, and (very interestingly) extroverts AND introverts!! Image from Canva Bravely going forth! Their experiments with almost 2000 people found that deep conversations with people they just met left them feeling happier and more connected! Conversations were less awkward than participants had assumed and both people enjoyed the discussion more than expected. Nobody wants to have deep conversations with a stranger, right?Īccording to research in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology ( Kardas, Kumar & Epley 2022), most people “people systematically underestimate how caring and interested distant strangers are in one’s own intimate revelations and that these miscalibrated expectations create a psychological barrier to deeper conversations.” And small talk allowed them to build a “theory of mind” or a mental framework to anticipate how their partner would play the game”Ī willingness to engage in small talk signals that you are open and available to share a bit of yourself - without a script or agenda. Through small talk, players could better predict their game partners’ personalities. The article describes an experiment “in which players of a game engaged in small talk ahead with players who did not engage in small talk before the game. Happy people are more likely to work together on a common goal. Positive communication with someone generally makes us happy. To elevate your mood and increase cooperation. Tara Well, identifies 3 key roles for small talk:ġ. Image from Canva What does small talk DO?Ī Psychology Today article by Dr. Suddenly, small talk gets more interesting! ![]() But what would happen if we allowed ourselves to include important (but still polite and uncontroversial) topics as part of small talk? I agree wholeheartedly with “uncontroversial” ( see my article from a couple of weeks ago). Polite conversation about unimportant or uncontroversial matters, especially as engaged in on social occasions What the research says about small talk (you will be surprised - and perhaps relieved!)įirst, let’s look at the technical definition: /ˈsmôl ˌtôk/ noun It can be awkward, stilted, and (most) every introvert’s nightmare.īut this week, I want to share some research with you that will help you think about small talk in a whole new way. ![]() Many of us detest small talk because it's boring.ĭiscussing the weather or commenting on the meeting refreshments/location gets old.
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